mmmmmmmok?

It went ok yesterday. I got to leave early from work and get all dressed up. I said hi to everyone and had a small plate of salad and then said I didn't feel well and went home.

Despite my success yesterday today has been terrible! My parents made this big breakfast and make a huge deal about us eating together. That was egg, half peice of toast, 2 strips of bacon (its getting obvious I didn't make my own plate), hashbrown and a bunch of fruit. mmmmm fruit. Then today I went shopping with my friend two towns over and after that she wanted McDonalds, well guess who else decided to partake?? FML people. Then about 3 hours ago I had a thick slice of home made bread with nutella on it. WTF is wrong with me today.

I want to make tomorrow a fast day but that means staying in and being bored. See that's how it is with me and nice weather. I can fast in the winter no problem cuz all I want to do is stay in bed anyway. I mean I wouldn't be working out but I wouldn't be eating either. Definitely where my biggest success happens.

So I have a non E-D related problem. I have this friend who flirts with me constantly. He's HOT I like him and I know he likes me. The problem? I'm engaged! I love him but I'm always asking myself if he's really the love of my life. We do things so completely opposite. I mean he can be bizarre sometimes. I don't want to break up with him but I find the attraction to the other guy (a mutual Good friend I might add) is getting stronger and stronger.

Me and the fiancee have so many problems and half the time I feel like I know it wont last and I should just break up with him. Is this cold feet? Am I trying to create a problem so I can run away from the one person who knows the extent of all of my issues (yes, he knows ALL about the ED). I just feel like there are so many reasons that I'm pushing him away and then so many legitimate reasons that I should break up with him. I'm not really sure what to do here.