it's been a while for sure

Well I broke up with the fiancee for good this time. Know how I know? Theres a new boy in the picture. He's so nice...maybe too nice. Not sure yet but anyway. He is soooo hot. He's like man pretty. He's like art or something. He's real skinny though. I usually go for fat guys. I'm giving this skinny guy a chance though. Do you know how motivating it is to be with someone who's smaller than you? I've been to the gym loads and I'm going again tonight.

My eating has been shit lately just always hovering between 139 and 143. I really want to lose loads more now, and fast. I'm going to. Wish me luck. I've missed blogging and reading blogs. <3 you girls

Update

So i've been 139 for a while now. I hit a goal and then got comfy. NEXT PLEASE! I'm gonna go for 135. Start a fast tomorrow. I'm thinking just a 2 day because for some reason at the end of a 3 day I feel really sick. So i'll do a 2 day fast, then a light food day and another 2 day fast and hopefully that'll do it. Wish me luck on that front.

So I'm friends with this girl and she's 16 and she's like 10 pounds heavier than me and i've gotten her totally obsessed with weight too. I decided I'm not gonna talk to her about it anymore. It's not fair that I get her into this life. I feel really bad about it actually. Plus she's just SO immature. I can't deal with trying to have this adult lifestyle and adult problems and then she has this 12 year old attitude and I'm like OMG what am I doing with this girl ?

My mom jokingly said she wants me to move out. I don't think that's a joke. I feel terrible. I think I'm going to go on disability because of my anxiety :( I can't do ANYTHING. So I'm gonna have to move into a shit hole :'( without my mama... but at least I wont have any food.

!!!!!!!!MOMENTUS

I saw 139.9 today. Now I know I can do it. It almost feels easy. So excited for life right now