omg OW

So I started this new job and its KILLING my back. Yesterday was only my first day and today I had to stay home because I cant move. I hope the doctor will give me something to make the pain stop.

I binged so bad last night. Hamburger, pasta salad, white cheddar popcorn, pretzels, etc, etc. I feel like I gained back 5 pounds overnight. When I go to the doctor today I'm going to have her weigh me. Ive gone on so many different scales and they all say differnt things. My scale (which I dont trust) says Im 140. My friends scale says Im 147 and every where in between. Im just scared the doctor is gonna say Im actually 170 or something. Oh god that would be my absolute WORST nigthmare.

I think PF is mad at me because I didnt go to work today. He asked a bunch of questions about it then asked if I was gonna paint his moms basement....I told him again I CANT MOVE! I think he got the picture afterwards. I feel like everyones mad at me all the time. I can hardly deal with it. Oh well.

I decided Im going to put myself in more situations that I cant control. Thats what makes my anxiety go through the roof is when I dont have control over a situation. I just want the anxiety to go away. I dont want to be afraid anymore.