So I didn't eat anything until 8ish. I ended up eating then purging a chicken burger. I have this weird new ability to force vomit without using my fingers. A bulimics dream really.
The only reason I ate the burger instead of the soup I planned was because I locked myself out of the house and my parents didn't get home until 45 minutes ago. I went out with friends to the bar. When my mom called I was just finishing my food so I said I had to go and went home. With a stop first. I stopped at the gas station to purge. I left and was almost to my car when I saw this guy that I'm really good friends with and I see almost everyday. We also dated for 3 years and back then I wasn't exactly bulimic but I had bulimic tendencies so he isn't dumb. I left the gas station with nothing. And my car wasn't at the pumps. I'm really paranoid that he knows what I was doing. I guess it doesn't really matter if he does or not...
I guess today was a good day because I purged everything I ate, which was the chicken thing. :-S why can't I stop purging and just stop eating? I hate being weak.
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Hmm... I don't know, he probably didn't suspect anything... I think if I was him in the situation, I wouldn't have given it a second thought.
ReplyDeleteEating/purging is such a horrible cycle, and just because you can't overcome it doesn't mean you're weak. Sometimes problems are stronger than even the strongest people.